Neutral fan scorned for failing to support underdog at RWC

An Australian supporter copped a tongue-lashing from fellow spectators after he failed to rise to his feet when Japanese winger Hirotoki Onozawa raced away to score an unlikely try in Hamilton last Friday.

In the 58th minute of their Pool match against competition favourites New Zealand, Onozawa swooped on a loose pass and scampered forty metres to bring the scores to a still very lopsided 59-5.

A quick scan of an ecstatic crowd showed an incongruously blasé-looking middle-aged man in a Wallabies jersey, seated with his arms crossed. He appeared to look – if anything – unimpressed.

Even several New Zealand supporters surrounding him were seen to stand and applaud the veteran winger’s opportunism.

“Who the hell does he think he is?” Onozawa asked, post-match.

“Was he indifferent? Did he really not care? Why the hell did he even come to the game!?”

The euphoria was apparently not contagious

Several former Wallaby supporter greats were left dumbfounded by this one rogue fan who, rather inexplicably, failed to get that “warm fuzzy feeling” that comes with watching a minnow nation steal an unlikely five-pointer against a rugby powerhouse.

“He really needs to pull his head in,” former Fanatics head supporter, Barry Hunt, said. “We don’t need boofheads like him giving opposition teams any more motivation. It’s fucking un-Australian.”

The Australian fan has, however, received some support from an unlikely corner – Quade Cooper’s grandmother, Beryl.

Speaking with ThePublicApology via a landline connection, rugby’s newest go-to lady weighed into the debate with typically erratic Cooper style: “Who cares if he didn’t cheer? Why do you guys keep calling me?”

“Where’s my milk?”

By Al McClintock


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