Medium-pacer Trent Copeland’s delivery has been arrested and charged for going dangerously under the speed limit in Sri Lanka.
Colombo police confirmed reports that Copeland’s wily seamers had registered a feeble 110km/hr in a test cricket zone. The speed limit for international cricketers is generally 130km/hr, which put Copeland’s deliveries some 20km/hr under.
A police spokesperson said the force was tipped off by the amount of movement that Copeland was getting in the air and off the seam. “Any delivery that is wobbling all around the place, hitting the seam and threatening the batsman’s outside edge usually attracts some attention [from the police],” he said.
“We had no hesitation in pulling Copeland’s delivery aside after the game and asking it to consent to a Random Bowling Test. It failed the RBT miserably.”
“We can’t have bowlers threatening the batsmen like this at test level! It’s outrageous that a guy who bowls a really consistent line and length, lulling opposition batsmen into a false sense of security through sheer persistence and shape, can be allowed to play test cricket.”
“It is our job to make sure that all bowlers at test level should be express pace, doing absolutely nothing off the wicket and leaking five runs an over,” he added.
Copeland’s delivery was taken into custody following day one of the third test against Sri Lanka and released on bail for A$400. It will face court later this month.
By Dave Edwards
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Now if they could just throw the book at Mitchell fucking Johnson for his wayward, cross-country, bowling…