Welsh dad kidnaps puppy before third-place playoff

A Welsh man is threatening to murder his son’s Sealyham Terrier in an attempt to make the boy more interested in the upcoming bronze medal Rugby World Cup play-off against Australia.

The man from Gwynedd in North Western Wales who cannot be named for legal reasons, wrestled the cowering pup from his child’s arms when the young boy replied to his father’s question of where he was watching the game with “who cares who comes third?!”

It is understood he is now holding the pedigree pooch in an undisclosed location and is set to kill it should Wales lose.

The young boy came to The Public Apology to bring attention to his plight, but was promptly told that while the lesson was harsh, he should care who comes third, and that we will still be supporting Australia and hope little ‘Macson’ hangs.

The prestigious RWC award for third place

When approached for an interview about his unique yet no doubt effective parenting methods, the man spat years of built up coal-dust at us and yelled “Dos i chwarae gyda’r traffig y’r ast hyll.”

“Rwyt ti’n esgys fach pathetic am dyn. Cay dy geg, a dos i ffwcio dy gath i fyny’r pen ol!”

“Twll tin Iar!”

Not knowing if he was welcoming or threatening we consulted a Welsh translator before we proceeded with the interview.

Loosely translated he told us to “Go and play with the traffic you ugly bitch.”

“You’re a pathetic little excuse for a man. Shut your mouth and go fuck your cat up the arse.”

“Chicken’s arse hole!”

By Al McClintock

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