January 2012

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In what is part of a wider strategy to eventually take over as Captain of the World, David Pocock has been named Western Force skipper for the 2012 Super 15 season. The Public Apology has obtained a secret dossier that details Pocock’s strategic goals over the next seven years and has chosen to publish it…

Read More Pocock Now Force Skipper, Next Step Captain Of The World

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Channel 7 is toasting an early victory in the ratings war this year, with the Sunday night season finale of Blonde Girl Watches a Tennis Match drawing a prime time average of 1.899 million viewers. Described by TV analyst Steve Allen as “gold, gold, gold”, Blonde Girl Watches a Tennis Match sparked substantial media coverage…

Read More ‘Blonde Girl Watches a Tennis Match’ Proves Ratings Hit

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A leading psychologist has warned that the new T20 phenomena sweeping world cricket is attracting the criminally inclined to the sport – and effectively dumbing down a generation of already slow-minded children, in turn making them more inclined to criminal behaviour. Following last week’s brace of ugly incidents during – and in  the aftermath of…

Read More Psychologist Warns: T20 Cricket Breeds Criminal Deviancy

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The shamed captain of the Costa Concordia is set to sign a lucrative million dollar Formula One deal – should he avoid a possible 15 years in jail on multiple manslaughter charges. Francesco Schettino, 52, abandoned the now-infamous 290m cruise liner off the Italian coast while dozens of passengers were still aboard. The death toll…

Read More Shamed Costa Concordia Skipper Could Sign F1 Deal

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Tennis deity Roger Federer has hit back at fellow players who have accused him of adopting a non-interventionist approach to his Player Council presidency with smooth, European precision: “I’m fucking Swiss, did you expect me to engage in political discourse?” Federer and Spaniard Rafael Nadal were unanimously re-elected for a two-year term as president and…

Read More ‘I’m Swiss, What Did You Expect?’ Says Federer