Mario Balotelli scoops final Guildford Award for 2011

Mario Balotelli… Where to begin?

After already featuring on TPA for attempting to blow up his home and the City of Manchester Stadium, Manchester City player Balotelli’s eccentricities have made him a fan favourite from arguably one of the competition’s most disliked teams.

January has brought transfer rumours, but December only brought the sort of elegant flamboyance you might expect from a Ghanaian Sicilian.

Closing out the calendar year in style, Balotelli allegedly hit the streets dressed as Santa Claus handing out twenty quid notes Robin Hood-style (because yes the amount he earns is tantamount to highway robbery). Not long before he was involved in his fourth training run fracas in his brief stint at the club, this time with all-round arsehole Micah Richards. Top it off by deliberating scoring with his shoulder against Norwich in the ultimate show of cheeky arrogance and you actually have a pretty quiet month for our hero.

Balotelli and Richards going at it

He first came to global attention when earlier this year he was subbed for a botched back-heel in a pre-season friendly. Manager Mancini claimed he hadn’t shown enough ‘respect’ to the opposition – pretty rich considering City have shown no respect to anybody this year, let alone the rules of the game, but that’s another article altogether. He has since thrown a dart at a youth-team player (kid probably deserved it), suffered an allergic reaction to grass (who doesn’t green out every now and then?), gave £1,000 to a homeless person (for services rendered?), and driven a wagging school kid to his school to confront a bully (ahem, for services rendered?????).

Include being linked to a pornagraphic actress and implicated in a Mafioso investigation in Naples and the full picture on Mr. Mario begins to form – that of the Greek God of Awesome.

Balotelli was said to be "seriously dating" this Italian porn star

Oh and he’s actually played some footbal and scored a shitload of goals.

In a recent interview Balotelli explained “I do do some surprising things, sometimes they are amusing, but I am not crazy.”

But he was crazy enough to turn down the opportunity to speak to TPA after collecting the award. His agent only informing us that he was “balls deep in a very important matter”. A Christmas Elf perhaps?

Regardless, our pom-pommed hats go off to you Balotelli and may 2012 bring more of the same.

By Al McClintock

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