Music Review: GWS theme song

Not being one to spruik an oft repeated tune, I think this will be sung before round seven and then regularly throughout the year – but then again I’ve been saying the Bombers are premiership certainties the last decade, so what do I know?

Penned by Cat Empire member and self-appointed lecher Harry Angus, the Greater Western Sydney AFL theme song ticks all the boxes necessary for a successful club song:

  • A child could sing it
  • A child could have written it
  • Children could die to the sound of perverts humming it
Herbert, heard humming the GWS song in recent episodes

It also provides an interesting insight into the workings of the Cat Empire song machine. Long have I thought that they were puppets controlled by some powers that be – like a record label, or the Freemasons – but now I know there are in fact Oompa Loompas hidden under their ridiculous straw hats, massaging their skulls and sending orange finger tipped impulses deep into the synapses of their jazz-hipster brains.

“You feel the ground A-SHAKING
The other teams are quaking
In their boots before the GIANTS”

Genius.

The scruffy hipsters charged with revolutionising AFL team songs

“We take the longest strides
And the highest leap
We’re stronger than the rest”

Fucking brilliant!

Only a green haired, overall wearing Demi-God could have come up with such seductive verse.

Folau will fly to this. Scully will mislead a country and his teammates for this. Sheedy will intricately carve the sheet music into a wooden spoon and send it to Phil Gould at the end of the season.

Sheedy and Gould – a greased up oiled sex fest waiting to happen.

Gould, becoming more amphibious with age

A battle for the West has begun and the boys in short shorts have begun their cry.

How will the Panthers respond? Are there enough bogan sheilas to meet the extra demand on vaguely consentual gang bangs in our West?

Who knows?

The Oompa Loompa doompadee do.

By Al McClintock

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