Al McClintock’s re-telling of one rugby league fan’s descent into madness while searching for Braith Anasta’s wedding continues. Read on for Part Five of this epic series…
PART FIVE
Failure! Oh, the pain of it…
I acquired some faster wireless this morning only to be greeted by the sickening news that Braith and Jodi’s wedding was held yesterday – just around the corner in Ulawatu. We were so close!
I almost hurled my iPad at the wall in anger and despair, but was once again forced to control my wild temperament in front of witnesses (and out of the realisation I probably wouldn’t be able to afford to buy a new one).
What hope is there for us now? To get involved in the honeymoon? Well that may just be pushing it.
I broke the news to Mad Dog and quite frankly he did not seem that perturbed. He just shrugged his shoulders and said “what are you gonna do?” What am I gonna do? I’m gonna rip your fucking head off, Mad Dog! That’s what I’m gonna fucking do! He sure does know how to press my buttons that bloke.
Eventually sensing my grief and anger he offered to take me to Jimbaran Bay to indulge my sorrows with a seafood banquet and a Balinese sunset. I must admit it does sound good. Perhaps there is hope for the holiday after all, but it troubles me that he doesn’t seem nearly as aggrieved about the news as I am. In fact, if anything, he appears bubblier, as if some great weight has been lifted from his shoulders. Did he not want to go to the wedding? Did he not want to party like a madman with Braith and Jodi and all their wonderful guests? Snorting crack off a bridesmaid’s chest and punching out one of the smug pricks from Home and Away? There is something going on with him, and I don’t like it.
He is suggesting we travel to Gili Islands tomorrow given our mission has failed. I won’t fight him. I am numb from my loss and happy to do anything to get me away from this place – a place I will now always associate with pain and disappointment. I have heard the Gili’s are a good place for getting loose, at least.
Later:
We returned to the delightful beach café, Maria’s, for lunch and then traveled to Jimbaren for sunset and dinner. It was a delectable feast of oysters, prawns and deliciously coconut-husked fish, but when the waiter made a joke about the two of us enjoying a romantic dinner, I bristled. Nothing wrong with people of that inclination of course, but the very idea of me bedding down with Mad Dog is both offensive to me (I could do much better) and physically repulsive. Thoughts of his hairy chest pressing against my face ruined my final Pina Colada and I was happy to get out of their before the intrusive mariachi band made it to our table.
I am looking forward to getting to the Gili’s. I need to unwind… I need a woman…
By Al McClintock