Tiger Woods Is Dating A Woman

So I’m just here to let you know that Tiger Woods is apparently dating some Olympic skier named Lindsey Vonn and everything is suddenly OK in this cynical, confusing and frightening world we all live in.

The couple updated their Facebook relationship statuses simultaneously from single to “in a relationship with Tiger Woods/Lindsey Vonn, which INDICATES A SINCERE AND MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW THAT ALREADY. And in true American style, they’ve also released a series of staged, airbrushed photos to really ram home the point that they’re in love.

Those pearly whites don’t lie

As a golf fan, I’m just happy Tiger is getting laid again.

By Dave Edwards

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