February 2014

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Australia takes on South Africa later this evening (Eastern Daylight Savings Time) in the second test at Port Elizabeth. It is safe to say that no-one knows what the shit will happen here. Will Australia continue its Indian Summer? Or will South Africa unleash its own fast bowling cartel upon our oft-flimsy batting line-up? No…

Read More Australia v South Africa: A Rushed, Near-Incoherent Primer

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If you’re a male and have a computer, you’ve probably watched the video of bikini model Kate Upton’s Sports Illustrated* shoot – taken in an aeroplane while entering zero gravity – already. If you haven’t, you should. In short, it features Upton in a skimpy gold bikini, floating around, tressed blonde hair going around, looking really…

Read More Beautiful Video of Kate Upton in Zero Gravity Hides Disgusting Message on Body Image

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Every day, millions of humans set off on the morning commute to jobs that they hate. This is not an easy task, nor does it get easier as the years roll by. Once you’ve reached this state of professional ennui, there is generally no return. To quit your job and do something you “love,” something that will…

Read More Professional Athletes Who Hate Their Jobs

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As previously flagged, The Public Apology has shortlisted two contenders – rock god Michael Hutchence and cricketing deity Shane Warne – as it seeks to determine who was THE Australian of the 1990s. In Part III of this gripping four-part series, TPA features editor Ben Shine looks at how these two men, each a genius in…

Read More SHINE: Judging ‘The Australian of the 1990s’

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In case you missed it, the Socceroos today unveiled the uniforms they will be wearing at this year’s World Cup in Brazil. As far as football jerseys go, they are nice, although yellow (or gold, if you can call it that) is probably not the best choice for removing the bloody stains sustained while getting smashed by superior footballing sides. Colour,…

Read More Why These New White Socks Are The Best Thing To Happen To The Socceroos Since Guus Hiddink