May 2014

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A 9-year-old boy has hit puberty early and will dominate underage rugby for the next two years, according to sources. The boy, Andrew Simpkins, is proving absolutely unstoppable in the local Grace Hill U10s competition, with 13 tries this season in just six games. Mothers are reportedly scared that the red-haired Simpkins will inflict an…

Read More Kid Hits Puberty Early, Will Dominate Rugby For Two Years

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The Socceroos are the first team to land in Brasil for the 2014 World Cup, with an etiquette expert slamming the arrival as “unfashionably early.” Meryl McNamara, 82, said that the Socceroos decision to arrive well before the party has truly started was a “bad look.” However, she said that the team could make up for it…

Read More Socceroos Arrive At Brasil World Cup ‘Unfashionably Early’

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A well-meaning SCG member who invited his Adelaide friend to a Swans game will never do that again, according to reports. The two men attended a Swans v Adelaide match recently, which the Crows won in a cliff-hanger. The guest, an extremely vocal Adelaide fan, turned around to give the members stand a gleefully emphatic…

Read More SCG Member Brings Friend To Swans Game, Move Backfires

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As an adolescent boy yet to discover other life pleasures, State of Origin was the highlight of my calendar year. The anticipation would build through the entire week leading up to Game One, reaching its epic crescendo on Wednesday afternoon. That afternoon would be spent playing touch football on the backcourts at school until 6pm, at…

Read More State of Origin Provides Stability During Times of Great Change

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With the FIFA World Cup now just days away it feels like our Socceroos have both come so far and absolutely nowhere – all at the same time. With a squad that boasts nine players currently plying their trade in our own flourishing league and an appearance at our third consecutive World Cup, the Football…

Read More The World Cup Is Here, But Where’s The Fever?