Guy Downloads SportsBet App, Regrets It Immediately

A Melbourne man has downloaded a SportsBet app and immediately felt a sense of regret, The Public Apology understands.

The 32-year-old man, who holds down an admirable job as a youth social worker, was compelled to download the app despite knowing full-well that “gambling is a terrible vice.”

“I’m aware that the gambling industry takes advantage of some of the most vulnerable people, in turn tearing entire families apart,” the well-educated, extremely socially aware man said.

The man is also pretty sure that the nascent online gambling industry will quickly compound the already terrifying socioeconomic effects of gambling.

“But it’s just convenient and fun being able to bet 365 days a year, 24/7,” he said, inadvertently paraphrasing Bet 365 ambassador Samuel L. Jackson.

“Fuck, I hate myself.”

By staff writers

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