World Cup ‘Group of Death’ Now Entirely Ubiquitous

Every World Cup supporter across all 32 competing nations firmly believes their team has landed in the so-called “group of death,” according to sources.

Hundreds of millions of people, who span across Asia, the Americas, Africa, Europe and Australia, all see their team as the unlucky recipient of an incredibly tough first round draw.

Argentina native Juan Martin Alessandro told The Public Apology that his team was particularly unfortunate to have landed in el grupo de la muerte.

“We have to play Bosnia and Herzegovina, Iran, AND Nigeria just to qualify for the second round. Es muy difícil,” he lamented.

A FIFA spokesperson told TPA that in such a truly global sport played by hundreds of millions of people, it was by nature extremely fucking difficult to get a easy passage into the second round.

“Well, unless you happen to be in Australia’s draw – then you’re literally drinking from la copa de la vida!” he added, quoting well-known soccer connoisseur and The Voice judge, Ricky Martin.

By staff writers

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