June 2014

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Uruguay striker Luis Suarez should be publicly condemned for his latest attempt to bite another football player – however, he should not be banned from football. For yet again behaving like a toddler in a professional sporting contest, he should be shamed, ridiculed and pilloried from post to goalpost. He should be mocked by British…

Read More Suarez Should Not Miss A Minute of Football Due To Latest Bite

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The World Cup is here – and it’s pure, international and just plainly good. You’ve got teams from Europe, Africa, the Americas, Asia and Australia, all giving it their all on the biggest stage in world sport. And it’s being held in Brasil, which just makes it even better. But there’s one team that stands out…

Read More How Long Will Our Love For America Last?

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TPA’s musings generally don’t extend to personal financial matters, but today we are making an exception. Here’s some advice: Take all of your money out of your savings account and bet every last cent on Chile to beat the Netherlands in their World Cup match tomorrow morning.* Chile are a sure thing. Surer than the Cincinnati Reds in…

Read More World Cup Worries: Holland to Field Side Without a “Van” for First Time Since 1996

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Local cricket fan Craig Farley has reportedly unfollowed his former idol Shane Warne on Instagram, with the cricketer’s torrent of cute baby animal pics forcing the issue. In the wake of Warne’s bewildering recent decision to upload a series of photos featuring baby kangaroos, rolly-polly puppies and lions snuggling one another, Mr Farley made the…

Read More ‘Enough is Enough’: Local Man Makes Tough Decision To ‘Unfollow’ Shane Warne

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It’s been less than a week since the FIFA World Cup kicked off in Brazil, and already it is safe to declare it is better than previous tournaments. The Public Apology’s Ben Shine tells you why… 1. They stopped fucking around with the ball For the past three World Cups, some dimwits at FIFA and Adidas…

Read More Three Reasons Why This World Cup Is Awesome (So Far)