Carney to France? Europe Cashes in on Australia’s Prudishness

Todd Carney’s lewd ‘bubbling’ photo has led to the best possible outcome: a lucrative job offer in the south of France.

Carney’s antics have scared off prudish Australian NRL clubs; however, they obviously pose no shock to the sexually liberated French. Now, Carney may get to see out his career in the southern French city of Perpignan, gorging himself on creamy brie and aromatic white wine – and his own urine, if he pleases.

I’m not sure whether the Catalan Dragons are familiar with Carney’s oeuvre – although I’m sure they’re doing some due diligence on the disgraced NRL star. And by due diligence, I mean a cursory flick through his Wikipedia page, which has so many alcohol references it may well have been penned by Charles Bukowski himself.

May have written Carney's Wiki page
May have written Carney’s Wiki page

Europe is cashing in on Australia’s prudishness. Our most fiendish greatest athletes are being offered lucrative opportunities abroad, having been exiled from the NRL for various victimless crimes (with the exception of Greg Bird, who also snared a gig at Catalan after glassing his missus then blaming it on his best mate).

Even the Brits took a punt on Joel Monaghan, who was forced to flee the Raiders after a photograph emerged of him simulating a sex act with a dog on Mad Monday.

If pissing in your mouth led to a rumoured contract in the south of France, just a hop, step and a jump from the snow-capped Pyrénées, then I’d be fucking tempted, let me tell you.

By Dave Edwards

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