What if Athletes were HBO/Netflix Characters?

In this first instalment of The Public Apology’s absurd series ‘What if Athletes were HBO/Netflix Characters?’, we take a look at the critically acclaimed period drama Mad Men. Read on to see which sporting stars best represent the various traits/flaws of anti-heroes Don Draper, Roger Sterling, Peggy Olson and the like…

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Don Draper

Characteristics: cool, clean, old fashioned, dynamic, professionally respected, needy.

Sporting equivalent: Craig Foster.

Dapper.
Dapper.
Needy.
Needy.

Roger Sterling

Characteristics: charming veteran, raconteur, prone to human mistakes, vice-ridden, sexually reckless.

Sporting equivalent: Ray Warren.

Sexually reckless...
Sexually reckless…
The great man.
Vice-ridden raconteur.

Bertram Cooper

Characteristics: Quirky, melodramatic, emotional, nostalgic, increasingly redundant, openly racist.

Sporting equivalent: Eddie McGuire.

Arguably a snappier dresser than Damir.
Melodramatic.
Gaffe-prone, increasingly redundant.
Gaffe-prone, increasingly redundant.

Peggy Olson

Characteristics: Aspirational, determined, against prejudice, compassionate, careerist.

Sporting equivalent: David Pocock.

Wholesome and decent.
Wholesome and decent.
Social issues and stuff.
Social issues and stuff.

Michael Ginsberg

Characteristics: Unusual/’rare unit’, artistic, creative, sense of integrity, Brooklyn Jew.

Sporting equivalent: Thomas Broich.

Rare unit.
Rare unit.
Fuck, they even kinda look similar.
Fuck, they even kinda look similar.

Pete Campbell

Characteristics: Consumerist, unabashed capitalist, right-wing, ego-driven, business-minded, sexually damaged.

Sporting equivalent: Brett Lee.

An abrasive personality.
An abrasive personality.
An abrasive haircut.
An abrasive haircut.

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By staff writers

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