Today the Geelong Advertiser printed a lovely little yarn about a bride-to-be who is set to play in a D Grade netball grand final less than three hours before she ties the knot.
This story, on Page 3 no less, drew the attention of The Public Apology’s Dave J. Edwards and Ben Shine. While the original headline (see below) wasn’t bad, Shine and Edwards came up with a few alternatives of their own. Read on for more.
DAVE J. EDWARDS: BREAKING: Woman Does Two Things In One Day
BEN SHINE: Haha, you should tweet that…
Got any other ideas for alternative headlines? Let’s brainstorm.
DE: Woman Marries Pitbull After Netball Grand Final
BS: Alex Perry Saves Woman From Flying Netball
DE: Woman Marries Closeted Sydney Fashion Designer
BS: Alex Perry: “I told you I wasn’t gay. Here’s a woman and sport to prove it.”
BS: Man Interrupts Netball Game, Suplexes Goal Attack
DE: Man Inexplicably Wears Suit While Spooning Woman From Standing Position
Is this an article? Are we writing an article here?
BS: Innovative First Nuptial Dance Incorporates Use of Netball
BS: Goal Defence Forgets Netball Uniform, Plays Aggressively and in a Suit
DE: Beach Backdrop Adds Further Incongruity to Already Baffling Photo Shoot

BS: Perhaps we are writing an article. Haha, why are they at the beach?
DE: Woman’s Catching Technique a Concern in Lead-up to Final
BS: Goal Defence Takes Coaches’ Instruction To ‘Get Up Opponent’s Ass’ Literally
DE: I think we are writing an article…
BS: Giant Couple Saves Woman From Falling Netball
That escalated quickly…
DE: Man Set To Employ Bogan-esque ‘Sunglasses on Head with Suit’ Combo at Weekend Nupitals
BS: Bride Reveals Horror at Maroon Wedding Dress
DE: Haha!
What do I title this proposed post?
BS: TPA Editorial Team Riff on Page 3 Colour Yarn?
DE: Done.
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By staff writers