January 2015

Australian children are apparently a bunch of fucking pansies who would rather wile away their time on the latest iPhone than play a bit of backyard cricket, according to a new study. And we at The Public Apology are deeply, deeply concerned. This particular study has found that two thirds of Australian girls and a quarter of boys…

There is rampant speculation over the nation’s two highest leadership positions: the Prime Ministership, and the Australian cricket captaincy. No matter how you butter it, Australia really is in a state of turmoil. Michael Clarke is in many ways just like Tony Abbott, in that they both appear to be out of touch with mainstream Australia. Both have…

This week on The Ian Higgins Show, Higgins and TPA founder Dave Edwards discuss: Nick Kyrgios and Andy Murray: two polar opposite human beings. How the Australian public just wants to love someone in this troubling post-Pat Rafter/Lleyton Hewitt era. How Australia should never lose to the U.A.E. in any sport, regardless of the code. Michael Clarke’s return to grade cricket.…

The alleged kidnapping and bashing of Australian golf star Robert Allenby was simply an opportunistic crime and probably did not involve any “weird, kinky sex shit,” according to Honolulu police officials. Honolulu Police Chief Barry Saunders told The Public Apology that so far there is no real hard evidence to suggest anything other than a conventional…

Tony Greig has sadly passed; Richie Benaud isn’t coming back. Ian Chappell and Bill Lawry remain, but they’re peripheral figures now. It’s the end of an era, as we know it, and the shoes to fill are large. So why is Channel Nine intent on putting its greatest product in the hands of imbeciles? TPA chief editor Dave Edwards laments…