Silent Male Majority Remains Miffed by Pink Day

A strong cohort of SCG members – mostly of the Baby Boomer generation – are silently opposed to Pink Day, despite its positive connotations, The Public Apology can confirm.

Day Three of the annual Sydney Test is unofficially known as ‘Pink Day’, with proceeds going towards breast cancer awareness. Attendees are encouraged to don flamboyant pink-coloured attire in support of what is universally acknowledged as a good cause.

Milton Bradfield (not his real name), 67, and a third-generation SCG member, said he feels unfairly pressured into wearing pink coloured clothing to the cricket.

“I pay $3,000 for my membership fees and I want to attend all five days in the clothes of my own choice: pleated slacks with a generic polo. I really resent having to don a grotesquely oversized hot pink cowboy hat simply to reflect my support for what is admittedly a noble cause,” he said.

For others, Pink Day is a source of anxiety. Harold Baker, 79, admitted that he was forced to borrow his wife Martha’s scarf for the occasion.

“I was at a complete loss for what to wear today. We didn’t dress like this in the ’50s,” the war veteran said.

"All up it's a great day to get belted off mid-strength beer, raise money for breast cancer research, and smash some gender stereotypes while we're at it"
“All up it’s a great day to raise money for breast cancer research, smash some gender stereotypes, and get belted off mid-strength beer”

The Public Apology understands that this silent majority will keep their mouths shut and begrudgingly support Pink Day, in fear of being publicly called out by muscled, upwardly-mobile douchebags in the 24-35 age category – who have enthusiastically taken to the event.

Jaryd Smith, 23, from Coogee, said that Pink Day allowed him and his mates to dress up like cross-dressing construction workers without having their sexuality questioned.

“Unless there is a kitschy theme associated with a cause, I find it really it difficult to get behind,” he said.

The Public Apology understands that Smith is also planning to grow an unsightly moustache later this November, despite his staunch, well-documented personal belief that people suffering from depression should just “harden the fuck up.”

By staff writers

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