I Too Was Involved In ‘Disorderly’ Incident At Arizonas

Souths duo John Sutton and Luke Burgess have reportedly been disciplined for an “disorderly behaviour” while on the Bunnies’ pre-season camp in Arizona.

In a completely unrelated event, I too was guilty of “disorderly behaviour” as an 18 year old, while at a nightclub named Arizonas.

However, it is understood Sutton and Burgess’ behaviour does not relate to a drunken grope and pash session with a heavy-set Lebanese woman in a fire escape.

It is also unknown whether the Souths pair were drinking at the time of the incident. In stark contrast, my disorderly behaviour followed, and was largely the result of, the consumption of an excessive amount of alcohol.

While the particular details are hazy, there is a good chance I consumed a flaming daiquiri, two cowboy cocksuckers and several bourbon and cokes – as was the style at the time.

Embarrassingly, this drinking was followed by the consumption of a cheap cigar, in the youthfully misinformed idea that doing so would make me appear classy.

Meanwhile, Souths officials are also refusing to answer questions as to whether the premiership-duo’s misdemeanours involved dancing too enthusiastically to a Justin Timberlake song.

Further, it is still unclear whether the pair tripped over in front of a bouncer, leading to their eviction from a licensed premises.

At the time of publication, it was highly unlikely the Bunnies’ stars vomitted on Pitt St and walked home after unsuccessfully trying to hail a taxi.

By Brian Belafonte

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