Michael Jordan Explains His Own Basketball Cards

On a recent business trip to Asia, TPA Founder David J. Edwards stumbled upon a treasure while scavenging the Beijing flea-markets. That treasure? A rare Michael Jordan themed set of playing cards – a fitting momento to reflect his Airness’ basketball prowess, as well as his penchant for gambling. In an exclusive interview, Michael Jordan shares his own thoughts on each of the cards…


IMG_0713Dem waffles. No matter how far this basketball thing takes me, I’ll always be thinking of momma’s waffles.”

IMG_0703“Look how fresh-faced I am! Can you believe I was only the third draft pick? Me neither. Sure, I can understand why Haakem [Olajuwon] went #1, but what the fuck were the Trail-Blazers thinking picking Sam Bowie over me? Must remain humble, though. Plus, Chicago is a way cooler city (right now, in 1984) than Portland. I’m really happy to be here.”IMG_0717

“White tank top and winning smile. I feel like NBA titles are just around the corner.”

IMG_0708“Just shooting around before the game. Can’t remember exactly when this was taken, but I’m pretty sure I nailed the shot. Look at my steely focus and excellent late 1980s-era tracksuit.”

IMG_0706“Tongue out, ducking left-handed in my away strip. God I look positively fearsome in this pic.”

IMG_0702“Is that cash in my hand? Am I counting cash? It’s definitely not an iPhone because this was likely taken around 1990. Yeah it’s probably cash. I had a lot of it. Still do.”

IMG_0707“This is a lovely shot. The obvious subtext here, like with most of my photos, is victory. I’ve likely aced a buzzer beater and the photographer has captured this just prior to the moment my teammates engulf me.”

IMG_0714“Crack the muthafuckin champagne!!! Wooo! Man, those late 80s-era Pistons were tough, but I feel like we’re at the start of something special. I can’t be sure, but I’m guessing this was taken just after we won our first title under Phil [Jackson].”

IMG_0711“It’s the 90s. This photo could be on the cover of a rap album. There I am, dressed in black, looking down pensively while clutching my basketball; my weapon of choice.”

IMG_0710“The ‘three’ is for 3-peat, muthafucka!!!”

IMG_0709“This was the start of an ongoing infatuation with baggy white shirts. Also, note how clean my sneakers are! I have over 3,000 pairs and I rarely wear the same pair twice. I also have undiagnosed OCD.”

IMG_0698“Here I am on the steps again. I’ve got my cigar and my headphones on, just chillin. I remember that Ryder Cup shirt, too. Did you know I’m off single-figures? Oh, you did? Good.”

IMG_0715“Talking at some bullshit event. Clinton’s there. Man, we had some crazy good times, me and Bill. The 90s were fucking mental.”

IMG_0700“Here I am, looking fresh again. I’m very famous at this point. Rich. too. They’re actually trying to get me involved in this movie called Space Jam. Haven’t read the script yet, but I’m sure it’s a ripper. Good synergies.”

IMG_0701“You really going to make that call?”

IMG_0704“I just wanted to throw this photo in at the end because it’s so iconic. Look at the elevation, the poise. You know I hit the shot. You just fucking know.”

By Dave Edwards


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