Waaaaaahda? WADA’s Desperate Bid for Relevancy

Does anyone drug test WADA? Because I think they must be high.

The World Anti-Doping Agency’s decision earlier this week to appeal the AFL anti-doping tribunal’s ‘not guilty’ verdict on 34 current and former Essendon players makes no sense otherwise.

After a two and a half year investigation, it is highly unlikely that new evidence has surfaced, and given the clusterfuck that is ASADA had even decided enough is enough, you would think most would have preferred it put to bed.

But not WADA. They want to drag it out like a hate-filled wank. Teasing themselves on the brink of the inevitable climax, where they will feel nothing but guilt and shame, but as long as they remain on that glorious cusp they can continue the illusion that they really are balls deep in whatever wise young person scorned them in their youth.

Who are these faceless cretins? I can only assume this is a publicity grab. It has been a while since they had a Lance Armstrong Moment and they must feel an irresistible urge want to remind us all they are still around. Still relevant. Still all-powerful.

The money will keep coming in and they can continue to feast on the young athletic body who, God forbid, takes the wrong dietary supplement. Who cares if 34 young men, who have already been through hell, have to put up with a bit more? They shouldn’t have been so naïve to trust their coaches in the first place!

I wonder how many of the governments funding WADA actually think this is a good use of their resources? You can be sure as fuck the Australian government don’t and I’d wager most of the others don’t even know who the Essendon Bombers are.

Mr. Hockey, I have a way you can cut back on spending in your Federal Budget. Cut funding to WADA. Because they are fucking useless.

This is an organisation with Joseph “Sepp” Blatter as part of their decision making body. I’m sure he needs no introduction to most sports fans, but Sepp Blatter is perhaps the most evil, out of touch bloke kicking about.

On top of that, another of their top policy-makers is Rev. Dr. Makhenkesi A. Stofile, a man who once threatened a third world war over the gender test results of Caster Semenya. A fucking war-mad Reverend! Sure, he sounds like the kind of guy I want governing one of the world’s most powerful sporting bodies.

I am not one for conspiracy theories, the ‘Illuminati’ and all that, but if ever an organisation wanted to scream we control the world and are a secret paedophile ring (as some people are wont to believe of the ‘Illuminati’), that organisation would most definitely have Sepp Blatter and a Reverend on board, messing about with young people’s piss.*

Former ASADA boss, Richard Ings, has called the move by WADA “courageous.” Why, exactly? It is probably safe to assume that the people calling the shots at WADA are an intelligent bunch of folks who know, with no new evidence, they stand little chance of overturning the decision in any reasonable court.

Is it courageous to waste everybody’s money and time on a battle you know you can’t win? I would say it is pointless. So why are they doing it, if not for ‘The Show?’

I am one hundred percent against doping, but I am also one hundred percent against exploiting 34 young men to push your agenda. These guys have been exploited enough.

By Alasdair McClintock

* Legal Disclaimer: I’m in no way saying that Sepp Blatter actually is a paedophile super villain, I’m just saying he fits the profile.

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