AFL denies ‘racism’ tag… again

The AFL has watered down suggestions the code is inherently racist after yet another on-field allegation.

Disgraced Western Bulldogs AFL player Justin Sherman will spend four weeks in the Victorian Football League after admitting to racially abusing an indigenous Gold Coast Suns player Joel Wilkinson last weekend – the pair apparently resolved their differences at a reconciliation meeting yesterday.

AFL CEO Andrew Demetriou denied racial tensions within the code, adding the footballer had apologised and would now learn his lesson in reserve grade.

“Whatever the crime, the greatest punishment you can level on a player is dropping him to second grade,” Demetriou said.

“We don’t have a problem in the AFL with racism – I can tell you that much.”

But some footballing experts are already questioning whether dropping Sherman to the VFL will help the embattled star deal with his opportunistic racism.

“The amount of racism, sexual taunts and derogatory rubbish that gets yelled out at a VFL game is ten times worse than in the AFL, where, for the most part, the environment is controlled and the presence of cameras and microphones keep the players in check,” said anti discrimination advocate Peter Marshall.

“I predict Sherman will come back to the AFL in four weeks time with a plethora of offensive insults that you only get at grassroots level.

A Melbourne Demons player of indigenous heritage told ThePublicApology that when it came to racial insults, he’d “heard them all”, but expressed hope that Sherman could bring something new to the table in four weeks time.

“A stint in the ressies [reserve grade] will give him a good chance to work on his material,” the player said.

“I’m sick of the generic “black c***” insult because it’s just not creative enough. I hear it every week and I think the white blokes could come up with something better by now; they’ve been oppressing us [indigenous people] for years and they’ve had ample time to think up some better taunts.”

“There’s some blokes in the reserves that are coming up with some good stuff at the moment, and I’ll be interested to hear some of it later in the year.”

Sherman told ThePublicApology he’d “keep an ear out for some good ones” at VFL training over the next month.

By Dave Edwards 



Ricky Nixon ‘sex girl’ to release OJ-inspired book

Did he? Who the fuck knows.

The teenage girl embroiled in sex allegations against AFL player agent Ricky Nixon is to release a tell-all hypothetical description of the events, entitled ‘If I Slept and Took Drugs with Him.’

Appearing on Chanel Ten’s The 7pm Project last night, 17-year-old Kim Duthie told hipster comedian Charlie Pickering that she had never had sex or taken drugs with the beleaguered, middle-aged Nixon, only to recant her statement while under the assumption the cameras had stopped rolling. She later admitted the comments were designed to generate publicity for her upcoming book.

‘If I Slept and Took Drugs with Him’ is said to be based on former NFL player O.J. Simpson’s highly controversial book, ‘If I Did It: Confessions of the Killer’. Simpson’s ‘hypothetical’ description of a double murder he was accused of was originally published in 2007, but quickly taken off the shelves after it was deemed too controversial for print.

Duthie said the book aimed to look at canvass the hypothetical question of whether she had in fact taken drugs and had sex with Nixon, but maintained it was “just a theory, not real.”

But those parties privilege to an advance reading of the manuscript maintain the contents of it are “chillingly real.”

“[Duthie] talks about doing drugs and having sex with a middle-aged man in the most graphic of detail; the images are just so repellent that they must be real… or are they? Shit I don’t know any more,” said one advance reader.

“After seeing those images of Nixon in his undies I’ll believe anything now.”

OJ, inspiring.

But Duthie is reportedly finding it difficult to claim a publishing contract, with most publishing companies refusing to ink a deal with the teenager due to a “moral obligation.”

“It’s just sick that she’s trying to cash in on the murdered career of a highly successful player agent,” said ArbitraryHouse editor Steven Matthews.

“I mean, his [Nixon’s] body is still warm!”

“I can’t be a part of that.”

By Dave Edwards