Landmark Deal Sees TPA Penetrate the Great Firewall of China

For the first time ever, readers in mainland China will be able to access content from esteemed online sports journal The Public Apology (TPA).

The arrangement is the result of a landmark deal brokered by TPA founder and chief editor Dave J. Edwards in Beijing yesterday. Mr Edwards is currently on a business visit to North Asia to expand the publication’s readership in the region.

It is understood that Edwards successfully convinced high-level figures in China’s State Council Information Office that TPA carries no politically sensitive information and therefore is of no threat to the Chinese government. The talks were carried out over a 72 hour period.

The deal represents a gesture of goodwill between Australia and China, and will be seen as a positive first step in advance of negotiations over a Free Trade Agreements between the two countries that will continue later this year.

Mr Edwards heralded the deal as a win for both The Public Apology and Chinese media consumers in general.

TPA has a huge role to play in China, especially as various Chinese enterprises continue to expand abroad,” he said.

“The aim was to provide Beijing with a greater understanding of what The Public Apology is, while outlining our Asia expansion plans. TPA will obviously play a key role in China’s cultural future.

“Transparency will certainly be key to this relationship going forward.”

Technology experts are calling the deal historic, given the enormous precedent it sets in regards to China’s strict internet censorship laws, colloquially known as the Great Firewall of China.

Apple Genius Bar attendant Darren Pratt said the deal marked a watershed moment in the Sino-Australian relationship.

“Much like former US President Richard Nixon’s historic visit to China in 1972, this deal will open the way for a better relationship between Australia and China on both a commercial and political level,” Mr Pratt said.

Edwards concludes 72-hour talks with unidentified Chinese counterpart
Edwards concludes 72-hour talks with unidentified Chinese counterpart

“It goes without saying that this will open up boundless opportunities for The Public Apology in this region, with sponsors clamouring to be affiliated with Australia’s leading obscure, niche, elitist sports opinion website.

“Dave Edwards has long said that The Public Apology’s major long-term aim is to take advantage of the Asian Century, and this deal really could make that a reality,” he said.

By staff writers

Interim Editor Declares Bold New Direction for The Public Apology

Mere days after being handed the reins of The Public Apology, interim chief editor Ben Shine has signalled a change of  direction for the esteemed online journal.

The pivot includes an aggressive push for online market share through the publication of clickbait articles, the exploration of a lucrative corporate partnership with the NBL and an exclusive online advertising partnership with Shane Warne’s underwear brand, Spinners.

The Public Apology’s critically acclaimed podcast, TPA Live, will also be renamed “Sports Time with Dave-o and the Badger” to better appeal to 20-29 year old male listeners.

“F*ck ‘business as usual’. I’m making some changes ’round here,” Shine said.

“Rather than cynical articles with big words in them, I want content that takes an uncritical look at sport and promotes wholesome values and messages like ‘Go Australia’, ‘Isn’t Channel 9’s coverage of rugby league fantastic?!’ and ‘Ten reasons why Paul Gallen is my favourite Australian’,” he said.

Shine has been handed the reins for 12 days while chief editor and founder of the Public Apology David J. Edwards is on international business. It is understood Edwards, who at the time of publication was en-route to Beijing, is unaware of changes to the masthead’s policies.

Edwards has been focused on expanding TPA into China, to take advantage of the Asian Century
Edwards is reportedly in China to personally oversee TPA’s push into Asia

“Dave’s gone on holiday or something or rather, so I said to myself, why don’t we shake things up a bit? You know, make a bit of cheddar while the big dawg is away?,” Shine rhetorically asked a room of reporters.

“For too long The Public Apology has taken a high moral ground by not accepting lucrative commercial deals, but guess what, there’s no money up there on that pedestal.”

HSBC analyst Steven Stephenson said any departure from the Public Apology’s traditional brand could actually have a negative impact its quarterly results.

“This could really hurt TPA’s reader numbers. They’ve built a loyal readership in Australia, and in places like Iraq on the back of their unique, esoteric perspectives on modern sport, and changing that formula could scare those readers away,” he said.

“These changes will be perceived as brash and may spook investors. Instead of making money, TPA could blow it all away rather quickly.

“What’s worse is all of these changes are being done without the imprimatur of David Edwards, who would not have seen this ambush coming, especially given the Internet censorship policy in China.

“Make no mistake, this is the corporate coup of the decade. It would even make Machiavelli blush.”

By staff writers.

TPA Announces Short-Term Executive Changes: ‘Business as Usual’

The Public Apology has announced that senior editor Ben Shine will act as interim chief editor from 14-26th July.

In a statement filed with the Australian Securities Exchange on 8 July 2014, TPA Media Holdings (ASX: TPAMH, “The Company), announced that Shine will sit in for The Public Apology founder and chief editor, Dave J. Edwards, who is scheduled to visit China on a business development trip.

Edwards is reportedly seeking expansion opportunities in North Asia as part of the company’s previously outlined mid-term business strategy. As such, he will relinquish the domestic editorship for the month of July to focus on building key relationships in the burgeoning North Asian market.

Edwards sought to calm panicked investors by stressing that it’s “business as usual” at TPA.

“Ben Shine is one of the most professional journalists I have had the privilege to work with in my time, and I’m sure he will perform admirably over the next couple of weeks,” he said.

“Obviously this is the Asian Century – and TPA Media Holdings sees immense possibilities in China. The company is focused on tapping into this emerging market while continuing to deliver great returns to shareholders.”

Edwards stressed to investors that the company’s distribution and logistics partners remain unchanged and the content will remain strong as ever under Shine.

“We would never neglect our core business in the pursuit of new growth opportunities,” he added.

Shine will receive a ‘higher duties allowance’ commensurate with the new position, paid in full. He will also have unfettered access to publish anything he wants, which Edwards admitted was a slightly disconcerting prospect.

“I promise to uphold the traditions of The Public Apology as interim chief editor, whatever the fuck that actually means,” Shine said in a statement.

TPA Media Holdings is headquartered in Melbourne, Australia, with a second office located in Sydney. The Public Apology, an obscure, elitist sports website, is a wholly owned subsidiary of TPA Media Holdings.