Following Usman Khawaja’s salacious bum grab of Adam Zampa during the recent One Day series against New Zealand, The Public Apology can exclusively reveal an extract of erotic fan-fiction found by cleaning staff after the game. *** Adam Zampa sat quietly alone, polishing his bat in the Australian changing room. He had dreamed of being…
Read More Homoerotic Fan Fiction Uncovered in Australian Dressing RoomsAdelaide scares the shit out of me. Being the unofficial mecca of serial killers, you can probably understand why. It doesn’t usually scare too many test batsmen however. Known as much for being a ‘road,’ as it is for depraved acts of violence, batsmen must see a trip to Adelaide Oval as a great chance…
Read More Unleash Your Gorgeous Pink BallsGlenn Maxwell is hitting runs. Good for him. It’s about time he put all that talent to good use. Funnily enough, a number of people have written to The Public Apology overnight, wondering whether we will be apologising for our recent article that highlighted Glenn Maxwell’s arrogance and complete obliviousness to test match values. To…
Read More This is Why I Don’t Owe Glenn Maxwell A Public ApologyA strong cohort of SCG members – mostly of the Baby Boomer generation – are silently opposed to Pink Day, despite its positive connotations, The Public Apology can confirm. Day Three of the annual Sydney Test is unofficially known as ‘Pink Day’, with proceeds going towards breast cancer awareness. Attendees are encouraged to don flamboyant pink-coloured attire…
Read More Silent Male Majority Remains Miffed by Pink DayThe biggest thing to happen in cricket last summer was the second coming of Mitchell Johnson. As we all know, after several years in the wilderness, Mitch bounced back into the Australian Test side, and, using a potent mix of intimidation, aggression and moustache, proceeded to eat batsmen for breakfast (and lunch and tea). Such was the heightened…
Read More Is Mitchell Johnson Less Scary this Summer, or are the Indians Simply Braver than the English?