Following Usman Khawaja’s salacious bum grab of Adam Zampa during the recent One Day series against New Zealand, The Public Apology can exclusively reveal an extract of erotic fan-fiction found by cleaning staff after the game. *** Adam Zampa sat quietly alone, polishing his bat in the Australian changing room. He had dreamed of being…
Read More Homoerotic Fan Fiction Uncovered in Australian Dressing RoomsAs previously flagged, The Public Apology is running a 4-part series to determine who should succeed Michael Clarke as Australia’s next test captain. In this first instalment, Ben Shine takes a close and at-times absurd look at the short-odds favourite, Steve Smith. * * * * * * Steve Smith has all the right attributes to captain…
Read More Should Steve Smith Be the Next Australian Captain? TPA DecidesLike a young woman on her first Contiki trip to Europe, the Australian Test side did something overseas they wouldn’t normally do. Finding themselves thousands of miles from home and seemingly liberated from the stifling social expectations of their peers, parents and boyfriends, they chose to recklessly experiment. While the Aussies did not enter a…
Read More It May Be An Arab Gulf Emirate Very Far from Home, But What Happens in Dubai Does Not Stay in DubaiBefore I launch into a scathing criticism of the Australian cricket team, I must disclose that I have not seen one ball bowled in the current Pakistan series. However, from what I can deduce, we are now limping to our first series defeat in 20 years versus a country that is: a) Playing a ‘home…
Read More The Australian Cricket Team is Behaving Like ISISTest debutant Mitchell Marsh may have joked about kicking his “glamour girlfriend” out of bed in favour of his baggy green. However, The Public Apology can reveal that things escalated later that night once the lights went out – and passion took over. “I wasn’t expecting things to move past the platonic stage, but the…
Read More Marsh Fucks Baggy Green