Features

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Gary Neville’s infamous ‘goal-gasm’ during last week’s Chelsea v Barcelona Champions League game may have appeared raw and spontaneous to viewers, but it’s an all-too familiar sound to his wife, Emma. Neville’s reaction to Fernando Torres’ strike – which earned Chelsea a place in the Champions League final – has gone viral, with YouTubers quick to parody the former England defender’s climactic groan in a range of unlikely and…

Read More Gary Neville At Peace With ‘Goal-Gasm’

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Controversial swimmer Nick D’Arcy has qualified for the 2012 Olympic Games – but the celebrations were a little bit tamer this time around, The Public Apology can report. D’Arcy has struggled in the four years since he was named in the 2008 Australian Olympic squad. Back then, the swimmer was charged with assaulting former Commonwealth Games triple…

Read More Exclusive: Nick D’Arcy’s Tame Night In

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THE KAT  “Under the Southern Cross I stand, A sprig of wattle in my hand, A native of my native land, Australia, you f—ing beauty.” “AHHHHHHH FFUUUUCCCCKKKKK YEAHHHHHH!!!!” The cacophonous sounds of 12 exuberant cricketers and several hangers-on echoed around the vacant Members Stand and across the famous Sydney Cricket Ground. The media commitments had…

Read More Part Two: ‘The Choke’