In this eight week tribute to jibber-jabber, TPA’s Alasdair McClintock takes us through the highs and lows of the upcoming federal election. Proving, once and for all, that when it comes to politics, he has no idea what he’s talking about. ***** The Leaders What kind of lunatic wants to lead this great country of…
Read More TPA’s Election Analysis: Week One – The LeadersNo one else is defending Bernard Tomic for his “latest tank job,” so it falls upon The Public Apology to defend Australian tennis’ enfant terrible yet again. And I’m fucking bang up for it. I’m in Tomic’s corner. Team Tomic for life. So, Bernard held a racket the wrong way on match point in a reasonably meaningless tennis match,…
Read More A Spirited Defence of Bernard TomicI played golf last Saturday, for the first time in a few months. It was a mostly ugly affair, with some random moments of brilliance wedged in amid the grimness. A cracking drive here, immediately followed by a filthy hook there. A delicately balanced chip shot here; a grotesque three putt there. This, now, seems…
Read More I’ve Lost My Identity as “The Sportsman”Following Usman Khawaja’s salacious bum grab of Adam Zampa during the recent One Day series against New Zealand, The Public Apology can exclusively reveal an extract of erotic fan-fiction found by cleaning staff after the game. *** Adam Zampa sat quietly alone, polishing his bat in the Australian changing room. He had dreamed of being…
Read More Homoerotic Fan Fiction Uncovered in Australian Dressing RoomsWests Tigers Mascot, Timmy the Tiger, has sensationally called it quits, saying he can no longer be an enabler for rugby league’s “addiction to self destruction.” In a break-up letter to his “friend and foe” published on Facebook last Friday, the man in the striped, furry suit explained why he finally had to say goodbye to…
Read More NRL Mascot Hangs Up Costume Over Pearce Scandal