Rugby League

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A new study has revealed that the NRL and AFL Footy Show are in fact equally terrible. The study, which was conducted by international data scientists to avoid any subjective bias, found that both shows are, well, pretty fucking awful, and all of those involved in the production process should really re-consider what they’re doing with…

Read More NRL, AFL Footy Show ‘Equally Terrible’: Study

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A 94-year-old Queanbeyan immigrant is the oldest living Canberra Raiders fan, The Public Apology can confirm. Hakka “Harry” Ibravovic, who was a sprightly 62-year-old when the Raiders first entered the competition in 1982, told TPA that his love for the Green Machine came upon settling in the nation’s capital. “I left Yugoslavia in 1980, just as…

Read More Immigrant Grandpa Confirmed as Oldest Living Raiders Fan

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Benji Marshall’s signing for the Dragons – less than 12 months after he left the Tigers – is best summed up, as is so often the case, by a 90’s sitcom about four neurotic New Yorkers (or in grade cricket parlance, “four coats”). “Loyalty to any one sports team is hard to justify. Because the…

Read More Benji Marshall Reinforces Theory that Fans Cheer for Clothes, not Teams

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Parramatta legend Nathan Hindmarsh – the only man with more crack in his anus than Ben Cousins – will retire at the end of the season after a long and distinguished NRL career. And the Parramatta legend’s retirement has forced the NRL to rejig its own policies regarding recently retired players, with CEO David Gallop set to enforce…

Read More Hindmarsh Retires As Gallop Mulls NRL Superannuation Reform