Rugby Union

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In what is part of a wider strategy to eventually take over as Captain of the World, David Pocock has been named Western Force skipper for the 2012 Super 15 season. The Public Apology has obtained a secret dossier that details Pocock’s strategic goals over the next seven years and has chosen to publish it…

Read More Pocock Now Force Skipper, Next Step Captain Of The World

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Samoan rugby manager Tuala Matthew Vaea is pleading for leniency after his village slapped him with a 100 pig fine for alleged bad behaviour during the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Samoan captain Mahonri Schwalger accused Vaea and other Samoan officials of treating the recent tournament like a “massive boozy holiday with mates” and sent a…

Read More Samoan rugby manager cops 100 pig fine

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A Welsh man is threatening to murder his son’s Sealyham Terrier in an attempt to make the boy more interested in the upcoming bronze medal Rugby World Cup play-off against Australia. The man from Gwynedd in North Western Wales who cannot be named for legal reasons, wrestled the cowering pup from his child’s arms when…

Read More Welsh dad kidnaps puppy before third-place playoff

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New Zealand’s police force stood armed and ready for another All Blacks choke in a World Cup semi-final, but thankfully it never came. The Public Apology can reveal that NZ Police Commissioner Peter Marshall had beefed up security to the tune of NZ$2 million during the World Cup in anticipation of New Zealand crashing out…

Read More NZ police braced for choke that never came

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Russian winger Vladimir Ostroushko has been arrested and subsequently charged following the murder and consumption of Australian forward and makeshift winger Radike Samo. And the bizarre incident is likely to affect Samo’s chances of lining up in Sunday’s do-or-die quarter-final against South Africa, given he is slowly making his way through Ostroushko’s digestive system. Ostroushko…

Read More Russian winger lives up to promise, eats Radike Samo