Soccer

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Parramatta-based start-up WSW have landed a lucrative contract in the Middle East as part of their expansion into the Asian market. The deal, secured in Saudi Arabia overnight, is a major boon for a business that was started in a Western Sydney park just three years ago. Chief Executive Tony Popovic said WSW had come…

Read More Western Sydney Start-up Secures Major Asian Deal

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A football-loving man is fully prepared to incur the wrath of his bosses for coming into work late today, due to the World Cup semi-final going into over-time. The man, 28, is currently glued to his screen watching the second half of extra time in the Netherlands v Argentina game. He is fully dressed in work…

Read More Man Unable To Leave Home For Work Due To World Cup Semi Going Into Extra Time; Prepared To Accept Reprimand From Non-Football Appreciating Bosses

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A Sydney man has spurned several sexual advances from his partner in favour of watching live sport, The Public Apology can report. Edward Sterling, 29, is currently focused on the plethora of televised sporting competitions simultaneously on offer right now. As such, he has been making up a litany of tepid excuses to avoid wasting valuable energy copulating with his long-term girlfriend. Sterling said…

Read More Man’s Love for Sport Threatens Fragile Relationship

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The paper aeroplane that hit a Peruvian international footballer from the Wembley Stadium grandstand was mediocre and outdated, claimed maker and flinger Simon Trevallion. Footage of the incident was captured via mobile and quickly became an internet sensation last week. Released via Youtube, the plane’s 200 odd-metre journey caused understandable rapture amongst anyone who had ever attended…

Read More ‘Not Even My Best One’, says Wembley Paper Plane Exponent

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Every World Cup supporter across all 32 competing nations firmly believes their team has landed in the so-called “group of death,” according to sources. Hundreds of millions of people, who span across Asia, the Americas, Africa, Europe and Australia, all see their team as the unlucky recipient of an incredibly tough first round draw. Argentina native Juan Martin Alessandro…

Read More World Cup ‘Group of Death’ Now Entirely Ubiquitous