The Socceroos are the first team to land in Brasil for the 2014 World Cup, with an etiquette expert slamming the arrival as “unfashionably early.” Meryl McNamara, 82, said that the Socceroos decision to arrive well before the party has truly started was a “bad look.” However, she said that the team could make up for it…
Read More Socceroos Arrive At Brasil World Cup ‘Unfashionably Early’Wayne Rooney has broken the wrist of a nine-year-old Manchester United supporter with a stray shot during his side’s 5-0 win at Wolverhampton Wanderers last weekend. However, the incident has provoked a new push to make milk mandatory in UK school canteens, a desperate – and possibly futile – attempt to prevent English youngsters from growing up into brittle, sugar-dependent adults. Little Jamie Thomas was struck on the…
Read More Wayne Rooney Breaks Kid’s Wrist, Lack Of Milk BlamedLuis Suarez’s decision to not shake the hand of Patrice Evra was not a snub, but a strategic move to avoid an embarrassing third-consecutive “rock, paper scissors” loss to his Manchester United sparring partner. The revelation has forced several media outlets to do a complete U-turn on their reporting after they somewhat embarrassingly made reports…
Read More Suarez ‘No Shake’ Saga Takes Unexpected TwistSeveral Manchester suburbs were evacuated and emergency services called in to what authorities first feared was a terrorist attack, then escalating football violence – before realising it was simply Mario Balotelli and his penchant for fireworks. The City of Manchester Stadium almost burned to the ground after Balotelli had been showing off his latest collection…
Read More Terrorism feared as Man City stadium burnsThe medical – and indeed sporting – worlds are reeling this morning with the news Real Madrid star Cristiano Ronaldo has successfully cloned himself. Ronaldo followed Real Madrid’s 1-0 away win in their Champions League opener against Croatian side Dinamo Zagreb with an extraordinary attack on referees and then took the even more extraordinary step of unveiling…
Read More Cristiano Ronaldo clones himself in ultimate act of narcissism