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The Miami Heat is thinking of trading Gloria James to the Boston Celtics in exchange for Flo Allen, in what is looming as the first non-player or non-administrative transaction made in NBA trading history. ThePublicApology understands that Heat officials, desperate for answers after the dramatic series loss to the Dallas Mavericks, mooted the “mom trade”…

Read More Miami in talks with Boston to trade LeBron’s mom for Flo Allen

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A Queensland man who accidentally wore a blue tie to work is recovering in hospital after he was mercilessly bashed by parochial Origin fans last night. The man was assaulted at around 10:45pm at Brisbane’s famous Caxton Hotel by a group of angry, discerning Queensland rugby league fans, who set upon the man for his…

Read More Man bashed for wearing a blue tie on Origin day

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ThePublicApology extends its heartfelt congratulations to Queensland on clinching the 2011 State of Origin series. An emphatic victory last night at Sydney’s ANZ stadium handed the Maroons their sixth successive series win. The side is now considered to be the best in Origin history; meanwhile the rebuilding phase begins now for the beleaguered NSW squad,…

Read More Queensland clinches Origin 2011, we assume

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Sydney publicans are set to offer impossible drink specials to cash in on deluded NSW pub-goers out watching tonight’s State of Origin clash. ThePublicApology understands that Sydney pubs will offer myriad drink deals that are dependent upon NSW’s unlikely success in Game 2. For example, several pubs are advertising a ‘free drink’ if NSW scores…

Read More Sydney pubs say Origin drink specials are ‘easy money’

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High-profile South Sydney owner Russell Crowe took a red-eye plane from Los Angeles to Israel last night with the intention of attracting several Israeli Jews to the NRL, ThePublicApology can confirm. Crowe’s audacious, spur-of-the-moment recruitment drive comes on the back of a well-publicised Twitter gaffe last week. During a “friendly” exchange with Inglourious Basterds actor…

Read More Circumcised players are ‘Origin-tough’: Crowe