Following Usman Khawaja’s salacious bum grab of Adam Zampa during the recent One Day series against New Zealand, The Public Apology can exclusively reveal an extract of erotic fan-fiction found by cleaning staff after the game. *** Adam Zampa sat quietly alone, polishing his bat in the Australian changing room. He had dreamed of being…
Read More Homoerotic Fan Fiction Uncovered in Australian Dressing RoomsGlenn Maxwell is hitting runs. Good for him. It’s about time he put all that talent to good use. Funnily enough, a number of people have written to The Public Apology overnight, wondering whether we will be apologising for our recent article that highlighted Glenn Maxwell’s arrogance and complete obliviousness to test match values. To…
Read More This is Why I Don’t Owe Glenn Maxwell A Public ApologyAs previously flagged, The Public Apology is running a 4-part series to determine who should succeed Michael Clarke as Australia’s next test captain. In this first instalment, Ben Shine takes a close and at-times absurd look at the short-odds favourite, Steve Smith. * * * * * * Steve Smith has all the right attributes to captain…
Read More Should Steve Smith Be the Next Australian Captain? TPA DecidesLike a young woman on her first Contiki trip to Europe, the Australian Test side did something overseas they wouldn’t normally do. Finding themselves thousands of miles from home and seemingly liberated from the stifling social expectations of their peers, parents and boyfriends, they chose to recklessly experiment. While the Aussies did not enter a…
Read More It May Be An Arab Gulf Emirate Very Far from Home, But What Happens in Dubai Does Not Stay in DubaiIt is a sad fact of life that professional athletes, like politicians, typically speak in banal clichés. Except, that is, when they have retired or have fucked up so badly they need to make a public apology, in which case they can be candid, honest and downright entertaining. New Zealand Cricketer Lou Vincent has effectively…
Read More Lou Vincent Sets New Standard In Public Apologies