Michael Clarke

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Like a young woman on her first Contiki trip to Europe, the Australian Test side did something overseas they wouldn’t normally do. Finding themselves thousands of miles from home and seemingly liberated from the stifling social expectations of their peers, parents and boyfriends, they chose to recklessly experiment. While the Aussies did not enter a…

Read More It May Be An Arab Gulf Emirate Very Far from Home, But What Happens in Dubai Does Not Stay in Dubai

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Allan Border has threatened an unlikely comeback to the test arena, with the former captain simply fed up with Australia’s top-order batting failures. An angry Border told The Public Apology that Australia’s under-performing top-order lacked courage and commitment, adding that “if these fucking poofs won’t get the runs, then I will!” “I scored 11,174 test…

Read More Border Threatens Unlikely Comeback To Test Cricket

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Sri Lankan middle-order batsman and test centurion Angelo Mathews has hailed his team’s 1-0 series defeat in the Warne-Muralitharan Trophy as one of the most successful moments in Sri Lankan cricket history. And the selfish prick has credited his personal batting coach and mentor, Michael Bevan, for instructing him to “fuck the team off –…

Read More Selfish Sri Lankan credits Michael Bevan for test ton

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ThePublicApology’s calls for a new chairman of selectors may have been answered, with reports that Cricket Australia is seeking Rod Marsh to replace Andrew Hilditch in the top job. ThePublicApology can report that CA believes the team is suffering from a lack of genuine facial hair and is seeking to appoint one of its most…

Read More Rod Marsh to stamp out ‘metrosexual’ team culture

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Cricket Australia 60 Jolimont Street Jolimont Victoria 3002 Australia (+61 3) 9653 9999 Dear Andrew, In relation to your unjustified sacking of Simon Katich from the Australian cricket team, I demand you supply ThePublicApology with – ahem – a public apology. Now this writer has accepted – and grown to eventually embrace – the many…

Read More Hilditch must apologise for Katich sacking