NRL, AFL Footy Show ‘Equally Terrible’: Study

A new study has revealed that the NRL and AFL Footy Show are in fact equally terrible.

The study, which was conducted by international data scientists to avoid any subjective bias, found that both shows are, well, pretty fucking awful, and all of those involved in the production process should really re-consider what they’re doing with their lives.

For years, the debate has waged over which of the programs is the superior offering.

For example, Victorian viewers generally claim the AFL Footy Show (broadcast in Melbourne) to be a more cerebral program, with the NSW version too heavily reliant on childish humour and ‘gay jokes’, as opposed to in-depth football analysis.

However, this latest study, which ranked the shows based on a range of criteria, including humour, crossover appeal, and general ‘watchability’, found that, actually, they’re both pretty fucking rancid.

“We were shocked in a thriving developed nation like Australia, such programs are even on-air in 2014,” study leader Hans Weismann told The Public Apology.

Weismann was later informed by The Public Apology that offensive, boorish, hyper-masculine behaviour is actually celebrated in Australia, with 90% of jokes generally containing some form of racial or misogynistic bent.

“Oh, that makes sense now,” he responded.

By staff writers

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